08 1 / 2013

My blog is moving! I created a blogger account with google. It is easier to manage and suits better for what I do with my writing. I am hoping to post at lest one new blog entry a week as one of my goals for 2013 is to designate one night a week to write something…anything.

So, if you enjoy my posts and writing and want to follow me my new blog can be found at http://www.epicloveondisplay.blogspot.com

Goodbye Tumblr, it’s been a slice

19 12 / 2012

We shouldn’t let our hearts and emotions run our lives, we need to trust God’s timing and plan, but time to time that is hard to do…especially if you are rounding on 30 and stupidly single…

Daniel 10:19 says “God loves you, so don’t let anything worry you or frighten you.” When I don’t have to worry or be afraid of anything, then I am free to give love to everyone around me. This includes not worrying about finding the right guy for me. And I will be honest I do worry sometimes…but that worry will take away God’s plan for my life. This was all to well proven to me this past week.

In May I will be 30 years old. I love my life, I love Jesus and I love that God has a plan and purpose for me, which I am starting to live out right now right where I am! But, as mentioned before am almost 30 and am not married. Why is this? Is it because I am not actively pursuing a relationship? Am I too focused on Jesus? I don’t know. But I do know that God has a perfect man for me and I need to wait for him.

However, I was sick and fricken tired of being single. I was listening to my flesh and I was letting that make me feel bad for being single, so I started to put myself out there and a really nice guy, who was a Christian and had a lot of things in common with me came along. We were both geeks and loved Doctor Who, Magic Cards, books and so much more! He was sweet and kind and caring and I could talk with him for hours and hours about deep topics or really nothing at all. I really wanted to see if this could go anywhere so when the opportunity to hang out and go on a date came up I jumped on the idea. We had a great evening planned and I was excited to spend some quality time with him. We had dinner, we talked and went for a magical walk to see Christmas lights. It was very clear we were into each other as more then friends but I knew in my heart he wasn’t what God has in mind for me. He was shy and not as passionate about the things I am so passionate about. We had different opinions on how to run a household and different priorities in life. He is a great guy but not a great gut for me.

So I had a choice, do I let my flesh win hoping that one day we will be on the same page or do I back away and continue to wait patently for God’s match? The choice was not an easy one to make…

Let me set the mood to show you how hard this decision was to make…here I was in this magical christmas world with this incredibly sweet, kind, geeky guy who was totally into me, who I could talk to and felt really respected me and my point of view even though it didn’t really match up with his. We had just had a great time hangout and having dinner and as we walked in the park and he held my hand. I looked up at the stars at that moment while he was holding my hand, I could have just walked away from everything God was doing in my life and gave into my flesh to start a relationship with this guy even though I knew it would never work long term. But at that moment as I gazed at the stars a song by Chris Tomlin came into my head…Indescribable…one part goes “you placed the stars in the sky and you know them by name”. At that moment even though it felt nice to be holding hands with this sweet guy I knew God had a better plan.

As he walked me to my car we talked about “what now”, I told him I didn’t think we were matched for long term and that someday soon the person we are meant for will come along and if we try and pursue anything right now then we will end up heartbroken and might miss the person God has made just for us. He understood and by the time we got to my car we were on the same page knowing this wasn’t going to work, even though everything on paper matched up. Before I left he asked me to pray for him to have the strength to wait for his future wife so I did; I left knowing in my heart I passed a test and really helped someone draw closer to God.

Knowing I could walk away from this guy for anything more then a friend felt good, even though it was hard to die to my flesh. I walked away from a possibility into a faithful promise. I am waiting for God to bring my guy to me, I pray for him a lot and I know he is praying for me. I don’t have to worry as God is faithful and will give me the desires of my heart in his timing, and I won’t have to compromise anything that truly means a lot to the core of who I am.

In this all as well I am thankful to my accountability. Those people speak life into me and if they wouldn’t have kept telling me that I am worthy of God’s best, and God is faithful and held me accountable to my standards I don’t think I would have walked away. If you are a single person reading this and are waiting for God’s best match I pray you find an accountability partner who will pray for you and hold you to your standards. I seriously don’t know what I would have done without those people! I know I made the choice to walk away but I have learned in the past you are only as accountable you choose to be, so listen to them and it will help you make the best choices for yourself!

29 11 / 2012

You never know how your transparency will speak to others. This was again proven to me tonight when a woman in my church shared her testimony and was totally transparent. God touched lives tonight because she was brave enough to stand up there and say things that hurt and were painful.

God allowed us to struggle and have pain and do things that hurt so people can see His glory through our redemption; I was reminded of that tonight. When we take off our masks and allow people to see us as imperfect and human it gives a chance for Jesus to show up and shine! We are all sinners…and we are all saved by grace. Don’t wear a mask and hide, pretending we have it all together when we don’t…that is a lonely place I never want to go back to.

When we live behind a mask we can never see people the way Jesus sees people, we can never love the way Jesus wants us to love and we can never accept love that God wants us to have.

Our “church culture” is all too commonly full of people in masks feeling they can never take off the mask and share a struggle or a hurt or a mistake as they will be judged. The only thing that happens when we live like that is we sink deeper into that struggle and isolate ourselves from the people God has placed in our lives to do life with…to be open with and transparent with.

I talked about this once or twice before in this blog but I will address it again as the enemy hates me and what I am called to do so he pushes those buttons and wounds until I put on a mask and pretend it’s all ok when it’s not.

I am so thankful for my friends, for my accountability and the people who I can be open with, but there comes a point I have to be completely transparent with them and with others. There is freedom in confession and it might seem silly but if it is keeping you from living in the peace and joy of The Lord then it isn’t silly.

So I am going to be transparent. I am 29…almost 30 and painfully single. I am in love with my life, my ministry and Jesus more then ever but I feel a longing to be married and have a family…I have a dissatisfaction with God’s timing and I can’t seem to let go of it. I beat my flesh everyday to not open doors that need to stay closed, to walk away from old ways and mindsets and it is only by the grace of God that I get up most days when I don’t have to get up.

Peace and Joy are not feelings they are choices we make when we live to trust God above all else. I needed a good swift reminder that God is good and only good and I can trust him with everything. EVERYTHING.

I have to remember to keep being transparent and use grace in this all as that is what God wants me to do. Why am I dissatisfied? It hurts to be stigmatized by the fact society says I am a failure; on paper I have failed life. But, in God’s book I have already won! I win everyday as I have Jesus, I have a purpose and God promises to give us the desires of our heart. I just have to choose to trust everyday. I have to choose joy everyday. I have to choose peace everyday. It might take me the rest of my life to be content with my life in every aspect. Because one day I will be married and I’ll be dissatisfied with another area of my life, as that seems to be the root issue. Jesus has won and I have over come, I just need to keep remembering how GOOD it already is!

02 11 / 2012

I am in an incredible learning season at present time. I am learning more about gifts and faith and the Holy Spirit and it is incredible to see God just show up so big in people’s lives through some workshops I have been a part of.

This very night God totally smacked me in the face with what I feel compelled to write about and it is more or less a lesson I must learn and apply in my life.

James 2:22 says; “You see, his faith and his actions worked together. His actions made his faith complete.”

Most times we believe God will do a miracle or give us or a person we know a blessing, but do we step out in faith to actually pray healing for that person? When a person tells us they have a headache or a injury why don’t we step out in faith and pray for that person right then and there? God is our healer right? So why don’t we step out in faith to activate God’s blessing and out pour the sprit onto people?

Tonight in the workshop part of my class we were activating our spirits to receive Words of Knowledge for people. A man in my group had a word of knowledge for me about my right hip and that because of the injury I had one leg shorter then the other. I was confused as I don’t have hip problems and my legs were the same length, however, in the summer I had prayed for a friend of mine with that exact problem and she was healed, her legs grew! We came to the conclusion that God wanted me to step out in faith and pray for people, to believe for miracles, and not hold back. I have the faith God can heal, but how often do I pray for people to be healed? There have been moments where people have told me something and I say, “God can heal that”, but we don’t step out in faith to pray for that healing or miracle.

Also, tonight we did another activation in a different way and I gave a great encouragement to a young intern who has been struggling to step out in faith for what God is asking her to do. I had no clue she was bogged down and struggling with this act of faith; the Holy Spirit gave me this encouraging word for her, but it also spoke to me that I need to step out in faith and brake off the spirt of fear holding me back and know that with God I can’t fail. If it’s his will these miracles will happen, but I can’t hold back when God places people in my path to pray for.

"Just as the body is dead without breath, so also faith is dead without good works." (James 2:26 NLT)
My faith is nothing if I don’t do the action followed along with it. God smacked me in the face with this tonight and I pray for you reader that if you struggle with doing what God is asking you to do that you find encouragement in God’s word…because faith without works truly is pointless…

16 10 / 2012

"Sticks and stones may brake my bones but words will never hurt me", this phrase was obviously coined by a mother trying to protect her child from bullies. People are mean and words cut deep, the wounds from a beat-down heal but the wounds from words don’t and people carry those hurts around with them, sometimes, forever. As a victim of bullying I can boldly share the power of Jesus’ healing in my life and those deep, deep, deep, life crushing hurts from words are gone.

I have always been a larger person, I was sick as a child and had so many steroids pumped into my body I have never been “small”. I was the fat kid from the very first day of school and it hurt. No one in my grade in elementary school ever made me feel less then wonderful but there were a few girls and a couple boys in other grades that said mean, mean, uncalled for things that gave me such insecurities that I never wanted to be myself…I hated myself. I hated my skin, I hated my hair, my eyes, my personality, my voice…I hated everything about me and I pushed all that hatful emotion down deep until I had on enough of a mask to not feel anymore pain or really have any truth to my life. I would lie and pretend to get people to like me as I really didn’t think they would like me for who I truly was. I hated that people would laugh at me and poke fun so I constantly made fun of myself, if I could laugh at myself then it didn’t feel so bad when others laughed at me because I made a joke of it. This fake life lead to a deep seeded depression all through high school, and because I struggled so much to fit in and be something I was not it became “work” to live and put a smile on my face.

I met Jesus for the first time in a real way at Summer Camp when I was 16 and I finally felt I could smile for real. However, I still wore my mask and suffered in private. I remember one time at a youth retreat the pain of faking a smile and joy became too much that I excused myself and cut for the first time to just feel something. No one knew what I did and no one knew the hurts I carried around. I had to be loud, fun, off the wall awesome because then people wouldn’t see my hurts and hurt me in return. My walls were so high it was impossible for me to take them down as then people would know my whole life was a lie and the fact I hated myself.

The summer I turned 17 Jesus changed something in me where some of my walls came down. I shared hurts and truths with some people I never shared before, I left camp that summer more confident in myself, a little more caring toward myself and free from cutting. I had people who I was real with, which I had never had up until this point.

However, I hadn’t given my whole life to Jesus at this point to heal me, to touch me and make me whole, so when I went to University with some walls down, letting people in I was hurt by some people and all the feelings of worthlessness flooded back. I was more depressed then ever, away from home for the first time and just wanted to make it all go away, so up went the mask again. My roommate found a note I wrote and got worried and called me to make sure I was ok, and I brushed it off as a joke…but in reality I just wanted to end my life. I was so tired of living I just wanted to go home to God the father and be at peace, but I could never follow through with taking my own life because I didn’t want to go to hell, so to numb the pain I drank and drank and drank until it went away. Drinking, taking pills, cutting to just feel something continued until God said “enough” and reached out and pulled me out of the deepest pit I have ever been in.

Because I felt so worthless, and unloved because of years of putting up high walls I looked for love in all the wrong places. In the summer of 2010 I was in a relationship with a sweet man who totally loved me for me. He showed me love, respect and a life I could have only dreamed of, but by then I was so damaged and emotionally wrecked I could never have a healthy relationship. It became to much for my OCD riddled, secretly depressed, baby christian boyfriend to handle and he broke my heart. It broke so hard I tried to kill myself in his house the morning he brown up with me. He stopped me, thank The Lord, and called my parents. I was immediately put into emergency counseling and that was when I was done with the masks and walls. My heart started to pour out years of pain, wounds from words, and I admitted that I had an issue with alcohol and I cut myself (for the last time the morning I tried to kill myself). It wasn’t the first time I tried to end my life because I felt worthless and that there was no way out and no one cared, but it was the last time.

With everything being out in the open I was forced to face my issues, get help and start to heal. That was when God showed up. I said before the guy I was dating at the time was a new christian, he gave me a book called “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren and after we broke up he encouraged me to get back my relationship with God, so I read the book. My life started to really change when I started to let go and let God. I went to church and God spoke to me in a real tangible way. I was 4 weeks out from my suicide attempt, and in church; we are worshiping. I am talking to God during this time asking him if he is real and if he really does love me and if I am worth it to show me. The next thing I know a little girl comes up to me while I am singing and says “I feel God is telling me to tell you he loves you and you are special”. I cried and said, “ok God, we will do this your way”.

From that point on I stopped being two people, I was all for Jesus, 100% surrendered, and my life changed. Jesus healed my hurts, the deep cuts from mean kids. Jesus showed me who I truly was and how to accept that. Jesus has shown me love like I have never had, how to forgive and that I am worth it!

I had to let down my walls, feel real pain, let Jesus invade my life, lose friends, forgive everyone who hurt me, turn 180 degrees from the life I was living and totally surrender my life to Him to allow him to bring me out of the pit I was in.

John 15:18,19 says: “If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you.” (NLT), people are going to be mean, and words are going to cut deep, but Jesus died to give you life so sticks and stones may brake your bones but words never have to hurt you! Jesus loves you so much, you are worth it, you are wonderful, you are beautiful and God created you for his purpose!

If you find yourself feeling like no one cares and life isn’t worth it, and the bullies never stop and you have to put up walls or cut to make the pain go away or drink or do drugs to numb the pain know you can reach out to people. If you suffer in silence no one knows you hurt, no one knew I hurt my whole life and I am only alive today by the grace of God to share with you my pain and healing so you can have freedom in Christ.

Also if you know someone who is in a depressed state or cuts or hides from who they are tell them you care and be Jesus to them, because all it takes it stoping for one to make the difference. What if that girl didn’t reach out in faith? Where would I be? She stopped for me, she was Jesus to me and it opened my life to the most incredible journey I have ever been on.

12 10 / 2012

In September I had the amazing opportunity to listen to the incredible Heidi Baker speak in Toronto. If you haven’t heard of her Google her, it’s well worth it! Heidi Baker spoke about answering God’s call to go where he wants you go and be obedient in it all. She talked about living in the “Bush Bush” of Mozambique, speaking to tribes, getting beat and broken for the name of Jesus, her husband losing his mind to malaria, her plane crashing and her boat sinking. She talked about God’s faithfulness as she stood her ground in the name of Jesus doing and going what and where he asked her to. You know you are where you are meant to be when you have a passion for nothing else. Heidi Baker challenged us to go where God wants us and live it out in full surrender…that’s when I heard it, as clear as anything…God was screaming at me to “GO HOME!!”

The night was unforgettable, encouraging, life changing and like nothing I have ever experienced before, but I could not wait to get out of there and GO HOME!!

I had a moment tonight that reminded me I am exactly where God wants me. I have passion for nothing else but my local church, what I am doing and where God is taking me as I just surrender more and go deeper and deeper in purpose.

I walk in the doors and feel like I belong nowhere else, I see people from church on the streets and can’t wait to talk to them for brief moments in passing, I enjoy fasting and praying for my leaders and come under them to learn, grow and submit to their authority, I see Tribe kids and just want to spend all my time talking to them about life and Jesus, I see the stage and know I belong nowhere else! I am HOME!!!

Heidi Baker was calling people to missions and greatness and she encouraged so many but I know where I am called and God told me to “GO HOME”, I did and have become even more enamored with this purpose God has put in my heart.

I am seeing harvest and wonderful fruit and I can’t wait to keep working this plot of land as long as God has me here, because I am right where I suppose to be.

11 10 / 2012

It is no secret that I have lived a life totally in the devil’s domain, completely deceived and allured by the pleasures of this world, not thinking eternally at all. At one point I completely renounced the existence of God and embraced lies and deceptions that only lead to a life of death and destruction. So many people are deceived in this way; sin is designed to be fun and pleasing but it’s not lasting or wondrous in anyway. It is such a lie that the pleasures of a physical relationship with a person you aren’t married to will fill the void in you heart that you feel is just missing. Only one thing can fill that void and that is the love of Jesus Christ.

I am going to be getting really personal in this entry but I know that God has asked me to be transparent and real so I am going to share my past with the world wide web and pray that by my hurts and past I can in return help others to never have to go through the same things I did. I have since been redeemed and washed white by the blood of Jesus through my repentance so if you have made mistakes like I have Jesus can wash you too. He cancels out the past and makes you a pure snow white virgin worthy of a godly husband full of integrity, purity and on fire for Jesus and His church. Never feel you are “damaged goods” and have to marry a person just because you had sex with them and now feel unworthy of God’s love and best for you. If that person is not God’s best for you there is power in the blood of Jesus and through a life of repentance you can be redeemed for greater and better things you can imagine. Never fear you upset God with your mistakes because God already knew you were going to make them. He loves you just as much in those moments of weakness as when you are living totally focused on him. You can always be redeemed, a mistake is a mistake and the devil’s power and allure is strong, but Jesus’ blood is more powerful and you can always come home to Daddy and fall into the embrace of where you belong. If you are in a physical relationship right now and know deep down this person is not God’s best for you and you fear that if you end things you are going to end up alone don’t let that lie have any power over you! I want to pray for you and pray Jesus brakes those chains of bondage off you and you start to see and embrace truth.

The allure of this world and the need to fill a void of loneliness, acceptance and love over took my life to where I had physical love with 3 people. I “made love” to 3 men and I am not going to lie, that connection, that level of trust, that love and pleasure is incredible and alluring…there were times…I can’t even think about it because it was that incredible. The loneliness, the void, the feeling of never being good enough to deserve love like that was gone in those brief moments. These men who were apart of my soul, who I loved and thought I would spend my life with as my husband (because I was that type of girl, I wasn’t going to sleep with someone I didn’t think there was a future with), made me happy and beautiful and wanted…desired. This level of deception is dangerous because at this point the man you love becomes your god and that can only lead to one end; heart brake. Even if the relationship doesn’t fail and you get married there is sill heart brake as that person can never fill the void only one can, and that one is Jesus.

I have had physical and emotional love with good guys, sweet men who loved me for me, did everything right except they weren’t Jesus. Only Jesus can fill the voids of heartache, loneliness, unwantedness, and unworthiness and looking for it in physical love outside of marriage will never work.

The relationship I have with Jesus the way he fills, the way he loves, the way he comforts…it doesn’t even compare to those other relationships. The time I spend with Jesus is so much better then any time I spent with a worldly lover because Jesus never hurts, Jesus never leaves and Jesus always gives YOU exactly what YOU need.

When I encounter the presence of The Lord in my personal worship time the fullness I experience is like no other. No worldly man can make you feel that compleat, that loved, that wanted…nothing in this world compares. When I shut my eyes, sing a new song to The Lord, let Him invade my heart, fill me with joy until I over flow it’s like nothing else! (And believe me I have had “else”)

Let Jesus be your lover and save the physical love for marriage where it belongs as when you look for love in the wrong places it is just cheap imitation that doesn’t last and only leads to heart brake.

09 10 / 2012

It’s Monday and that means there was a new episode of A&E’s Intervention that aired tonight. I have been watching the show Intervention for years. I watched it for the first time when I was in the height of my “partying” and it made me feel better about myself, as I was not as bad as these people on the show. I now watch it and pray for the people on the show; that Jesus touches their lives and they continue to gain back what was lost.

Tonight there was a woman on the show named Amanda (coincidence? I don’t think so), and her story reminded me of my own life. She was “dropped” as a child, felt alone, unwanted, unloved and withdrawn. It’s not that her parents didn’t love her, they did and do more then she could ever imagine, but in her mind she felt alone and that lead her to a life of looking for love and acceptance in all the wrong places, not finding it, then self harming herself and developed a life of addiction to numb what she felt when her heart was broken over and over and over by people she put her trust in. I realized when watching this episode my life could have turned out like Amanda’s if God hadn’t had a firm grip on me even though I fought it and chose to run further and further from him towards a self-distructive lifestyle that many think is “normal”. Thank you Abba Father!!!

That behavior is not normal; to drink every weekend to dull the pain. It is not normal to party so hard you don’t remember, but, I know so many people who willingly want to do this to “celebrate”. It’s not a birthday unless you wake up with your contacts still in, clothes disheveled and pictures on Facebook you totally regret ever taking. Seriously? How can we think that is normal and should be accepted? I could go on and on about that subject but I have already gotten off track. The reason for me telling this story is to make a point that children who grow up feeling unwanted, unloved, excluded, a burden, not good enough, never accepted for the way they are and whatever else parents or peers do to fail them (most times even without realizing it, but again it’s not about what the parents think, it’s how the child perceives it and internalized it), grow up looking for that acceptance in other places, whether it’s the girl who doesn’t eat anymore because her family makes a comment at the dinner table about her taking a second helping, or the girl who loses her innocence at 14 because she so desperately wants to feel loved and wanted, and the only way for her to do that is to have sex with the boy she likes as that is the only way she knows how to keep him from leaving her as she doesn’t feel she is pretty enough for him to stay with her otherwise. Or the girl who hides in pain and depression feeling unwanted, worthless and a failure. It is a sad world we live in today when young people who’s family units have fallen apart or never were have lead to a self-destructive life of sin and feeling worthless.

I work with youth everyday at my job and at my church and I see these broken lives of hurt on the face of the girl who walks in my class wearing her hair in her face and long sleeves even in the warmer months to hide the fact she cuts herself, who can’t look me in the eye and smile, who’s eyes seem empty and dead of any joy. I see the girl who hates her dad so much she wears the tightest clothes with the lowest neck line to attract attention from boys who she thinks will love her and take care of her in ways her father should have. She thinks that boy will treat her like a princess, will put her needs first, love her, buy her flowers and gifts, be her protector and treat her with respect. But he won’t and then she thinks she has to be physical with him because that is how you get boys to do what you want, as that is what movies and TV have told them as culture has accepted that it’s ok to show that content to children. How are girls to know what love is if they haven’t gotten it from their father? How?? How are these young people to fill the void left from not being loved, charished, accepted and unconditionally wanted??? How do you start to tell these young people that Jesus can fill that void???? How do you tell a girl who just wants her Daddy to accept her for who she is and treat her like a princess that an omnipresent invisible God can fill all that?????

You can’t tell them…but you can show them by making Jesus real. Be Jesus to these young people, show them who Jesus is; His character, showing them God’s promises, sharing how it changed your life, praying for them and with them, teaching them the love of Christ, sharing the wonderful promises of God from scripture, loving on them, being there, being real and whatever else we need to do to make God’s power and love invade them in ways they can’t deny.

God can brake those chains and yokes these young people are carrying but it comes over a time of developing trust where a person has put up walls. Never give up on a hard hearted, unresponsive, young person as all we need to do is be Christ to them and God does the rest. It might take years but that lifeless girl who wears long sleeves to hide her scars and cuts will one day walk with her head high, confidant of who she is in Christ with joy in her eyes and a smile that can’t be taken off her face.

05 10 / 2012

I have been reading some of 1Kings…these guys didn’t get it. However there are so many good lessons from it. I told a friend of mine that I was reading it and she told me when she was in Sunday School that was pretty much all she learned about, The Kings. Because I was so moved by the stories I read I was shocked that they would teach young people such heavy stories, talk about guilt tripping young people. I am finding I am looking at these stories with a heart of sorrow for God. God gave us stories like the ones in Kings to show us what makes him cry and what makes him smile. there is sorrow but amazing redemption in these stories, it’s good stuff….but super heavy for young people.

Apparently my friend didn’t think of it the same way I did as she said she was bored of the Kings, as it was taught so much to her at a young age. How can this be? 1Kings is all about the mistakes the things that upset God. These Kings had favor, but through sin and hard hearts and selfish power they were harshly punished for their choices. 2Kings is all about redemption. the Kings that loved God and did his will; yes they made mistakes but king David was God’s favorite…he redeemed the Kings!

I just finished the story of King Ahab and how he died and then how his descendants lost it all and instead of turning back to God they worshiped a false god named Baal. It is really interesting and there are so many things in that story about many different aspects of God and his unfathomable love for us! The Bible really is all about Jesus and the gospel, we just don’t see it in the Old Testament as we let the “history” and stories get in the way. When we take it out of context and true meaning it loses value.

God loved those Kings so much and gave them so many chances…gave them so many words through prophets, dire warnings…but they just didn’t listen and knowing God loves us…like really really loves us, and wants us intimate with him, not listening or turning from the things they were doing makes God so sad. We make God sad when we get out of his plan for us. God weeps for so many people who he loves that are missing purpose and not listening to his loving warnings. We, as devoted believers, need to weep for them too, and share his love with them, so God can delight in them like he delights in us!

I don’t want I make God cry by not breaking my heart for what brakes his. The stories of the Kings are stories that make God cry and then they are stories that make God delight in a joyful way through redemption. There is always hope in Jesus and we can not be insensitive to what makes God sad so we can then make him so happy!

10 9 / 2012

My Dearest Abba Daddy,

You are my heavenly father, my creator, my provider, my healer, my everything. I can not even beginning to thank you for the blessings you have poured out in the life and the fact you protected me and brought me through every moment of my life to bring me to this point right here. 
I am thankful I get to sit inside, on my comfy pompoose chair with some anointed, life giving worship music on repeat as I dive into your Word and focus in on my time with you. I am thankful for my full belly and the fact I didn’t have to worry about where my next meal was going to come from. I am thankful for the sweater that keeps me warm on a chilly day, and the slippers on my feet that keep my toes from freezing and me ending up catching a cold; but if I did get sick I am so thankful for the fact I can go to the doctor for free and afford the medicine to make me feel better. Abba Daddy I am so thankful for the fact I live in Canada and have a job and can afford luxuries like this iPhone I type on, the TV my worship music is playing on, the computer that sits beside me open to many different websites to feed my need for knowledge about what is going on in your kingdom. Lord I pray I never stop being thankful for ever blessing you give me and never take for granted I have clean water that comes from a tap in my house that I can just drink freely and not worry about what bacteria is in it that will make me sick, and I never want to forget the fact that when I did drink bad water you protected me and I did not need to take extreme measures to regain health with no detrimental lasting side effects. 
Abba Daddy I don’t ever want to stop being thankful as there are children in this world who do not have their basic needs met. Abba Daddy allow me to always remember that I have an abundance in comparison to these children who have to worry about so many things they shouldn’t have to. Protect them Daddy; provide for them, love them and bless them for your purpose. Reach out and compel hearts of blessed people to see the need in this world and how we can help. I pray that you show people that their prayers make a difference, their time makes a difference, their lives make a difference to others who they can bless. 
Abba Daddy I pray that there is favor for the Compassion organization in needy countries, with donations and sponsorship. Lord I pray that their goal of 3000 children to be sponsored in the month of September is reached and my prayers and contribution make an impact on those numbers. I want to be effective in what I do for you from my heart in everyday. 
Lord my God I pray this in Jesus’ name!
Amen 
*** For more information on how to sponsor a Compassion child visit http://www.compassion.com/sponsor_a_child/default.htm ***